I should pull over …

“If we’re strong enough to let it in,

We’re strong to let it go.

Let it all go, let it all out now”

Rhodes (with Birdie)

Music connects me to my feelings with a rawness. Catch me without distraction, unfrozen flow out of my chest, down my cheeks. I should pull over.

I try not to look. Larger than life drag queens flash before my eyes. But I don’t really see them. Behind my eyes is a frozen haze. Looking away, guilty ink in water. Turn the water stronger, but squid ink is thick, mucus, salt.

So I don’t sleep, intentionally closing my eyes is a risk. Fuck, have I taken my meds? At least I remember that.

Oh the flame trees will blind the weary driver
And there’s nothing else could set fire to this town
There’s no change, there’s no pace
Everything within its place
Just makes it harder to believe that she won’t be around

Cold Chisel